Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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