____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
