there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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