You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There r osticjed everywhere
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
