OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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