Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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