i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
