yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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