My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Jerry, you need to find god
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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