just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my poor anus
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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