sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
