don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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