What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The air was thick with penises
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
