HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
