I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
