Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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