This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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