last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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