Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
