My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
