at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
