it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
