did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
id be glad to
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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