Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
