I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize