Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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