we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
