Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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