Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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