Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
