I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
