someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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