what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
