I feel like abortions should bother me more
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
