Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
