I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
