Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
