i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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