Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How does it feel to date your dad?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
