...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
