butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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