I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
