this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Be still, my beating vagina.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
