thus making me awesome and them whores
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
