Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize