I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
