i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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