i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
