Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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