I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
