No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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