I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
