Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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