Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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