Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The Olympian is in my bed
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