Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
