the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
