i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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