Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
