I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
