i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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