Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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