grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
