I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
