I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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