Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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